In some denominations, the wives of pastors are called “First Ladies.” Often, people perceive those roles as glamorous, and there are some women who covet being wives of pastors for reasons that aren’t necessarily for the love of God. The positions do have their “perks,” but the true roles of the wives of pastors are to love God first, and to support their husbands in the homes and in the missions assigned by God.
When the marital unions complement the calls of ministries, those are indeed harmonious placements. Positive matrimonial team choices benefit in manifold ways.
Outside the realms of balance, the wives of pastors can be lonely and neglected women. There have even been reports of them being abused by their husbands. Misunderstanding the wives of pastors is another issue of concern. Some church members knowingly and unknowingly put stress on them. There are folks who have unreasonable expectations of pastors, their wives and families. Inconsideration comes in to play in various circumstances.
Occasions manifest when some folks cross boundaries relative to pastoral family lives. Unnecessary phone calls to the homes of pastors can cause friction to arise in their marital relationships, as can intruding on the personal time of the families of pastors in other inconsiderate ways. Yes, pastoring can take tolls personally and professionally. Respect should be held for their personal lives and responsibilities.
Certainly, the wives of pastors are grateful when treated with love, care, and appreciation. Also, their time is valuable and should be respected as such. They need encouragement as individuals, wives and mothers. We all need encouragement; sometimes folks aren’t sufficiently mindful that the wives of pastors need reassurances, too.
Pastors sure do need the support of their wives, and to maintain awareness that their wives need their care and support, as well. It’s vital that marital relationships are cherished with love motions demonstrated on a regular basis. It’s essential to keep love for God, family and ministry in perspective.
1 Peter 3:7, 8 – KJV
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: